Life-Sparring

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Three Places for a Happy Life – Thoughts Inspired by Haruki Murakami’s Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki

Haruki Murakami’s 2013 book “Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage: A novel” drew mixed reviews. Some people loved it; other’s accused Murakami of relying too much on his proven plots and recipes.

Indeed, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki has a lot in common with Murakami’s previous works, especially with “Norwegian Wood”: melancholy, the male perspective, the topic of juvenile friendship and the painful loss of it, the use of music, some elements of mystery and a good dose of profound life advice.

I have no problem with Murakami being Murakami. After all, that’s what I love him for. I loved the book, so much that I read it in a single day.

But this article is not supposed to be another book review (if you like those, check out my “Food for Thought Posts”), it is a reflection based on an idea that was mentioned in passing in the book, but that I found quite profound.

In the book, the idea of the “three places” is meant quite literally, referring to physical places. After all, it is made while the protagonist sits in a train station watching passengers getting on and off trains.

But I think the idea is even more powerful in the metaphorical sense. If you think about it, our lives are indeed largely defined by three places: The place where we are now, the place where we need to go to, and the place we come back to. For me, these three places are not necessarily actual locations.

The place where we are now is the city we are living in, but it is also our relationship and career status.

The place where we have to go stands for our goals, plans, aspirations, dreams, and callings. It can be connected to an actual location, but it doesn’t have to.

And the place where we can go back to, is our comfort zone, our fallback option, our supporting net. It can be a location that has this effect, but it can also be a group of friends, our family, or even a comforting routine.

To be content in life, we need to be able to check all three boxes. We need to be at peace with where we are at, we need to have a place to go to, to stay motivated, and we need a place to return to, recharge, and refocus.

If I look at my life, the easiest for me always has been figuring out a destination. For most of my life so far, I knew where I wanted to go. This always has kept me on track, kept my engine running. Knowing what I am headed for has been the origin of my drive.

Despite sometimes having bouts of “loneliness” in my life, I also always had a place to come back to. My parents have always been supportive throughout my whole life, I don’t have many friends, but those I do have, I can always count upon. And for the very dark moments, I have my places of comfort: going out for a run and my Phil Collins playlist.

In the past two years, my house became a major place to return to. Despite having to commute two and a half hours a day, coming home to my little castle sparks joy every day, especially when my wife is home and prepared dinner.

The place I generally struggle the most with is the “place I am at now”. I have often written in a different context about my struggle with mindfulness. I guess that struggling with the now is closely linked to being such a driven person. If you are mostly motivated by your goals, you tend to feel stuck in your current place. Nothing moves fast enough in the direction of your journey. This feeling can be as destructive and toxic as lacking a place to go to or a place to come back to.

What about you? What are currently your three places? Do you have a place to go to, a place to come back to, and are you happy with the place where you are now?